Considering that I have, over the months, got a ridiculous number of google hits from “Can Anteater’s Kill you?” I have decided to come up with other random (mostly fake headline style) google phrases to con more people into reading J&C.

• Richard Hammond does not live in Wantage
• Drunk Elephant rampages through downtown
• Extreme underwater basket weaving
• Hitler’s left hand found in museum basement
• Recipe for the elixir of life was lost by blind priest
• Anteaters cannot kill you
• There is nothing strange about Michael Jackson’s death. There should be no conspiracy theories. He was not abducted by aliens, he was not eaten by an elephant, he did not escape to the Caribbean, he is not going to be the next Elvis.
• African-Americans do in fact have fully functioning noses, despite recent claims to the contrary.
• John Lennon never died, he just went away
• Telephone explosion kills 12
• Stalin’s corpse spotted rooting through dustbins. New Zombie plague?
• Looking both ways before crossing the street has been linked to autism. Parents, protect your children, protect yourself
• If you recite the alphabet backwards while humming Yankee doodle you automatically qualify for entry into an Alaskan law school

Now if that lot doesn’t get me some insane google hits I will be very sad…