First, I would like to apologise to anyone I offend later in this post. I am currently drunk. And I am sorry.

Tonight was my honourary 18th birthday. So I went to the blue boar, the swan and the Oak. But not necessarily in that order. It was the first time I have got truly drunk. Or merry. Or whatever, I am not in full control of my senses right now.

It took:
1 half of strong bow
1 pint of strong bow

3 rum and cokes (I dunno what kinda rum, it was sorta amber,  old jerry’s? Sea jerries?)

1 shot baileys

1 bottle of hobgoblin cider

1 shot of old something rum.

Bottle of hobgoblin

shot of rum

hobgoblin (I remember drinking three)

Shot of rum

Apple sour

Coke

Water.

That’s all I drank.

I become posher the drunker I get. Very posh. I lose even more ability to balance (I am dyspraxic) and bec0me more posh with every drink after the first goblin. I can’t even see the keyboard right now, I trust the fingers. I like the feeling of being drunk, petrified of being sick (I hate that).  Very posh, I do so become. And clarify everything. Everything. I do so do. I become a pedant everyone is scared of. I feel no pain and actions do not quite match up with feelings. I felt I must document this in words. I find everything funny. God I love this feeling

I must thank Neil, Felix and Steven for making sure I got back to my mothers car and into her care safely. I could not even walk in a straight line. Thank you those people.

Thanks also go to Daniel and to Simon for coming out with me. George was unfortunately away. I feel sorry for him.

Bloody expensive though. 5.50 for a shot of rum and a hobgoblin cider? I will kill you folks at the Swan Wantage for your horrible prices.

Thank you though for giving me the coke and water as I attempted to sober up. Little good did it do.

Thank you again to all who helped me enjoy my honourary 18th. If I remember you in the morning. Good show.

Also sorry to Daniel’s friend (I presume) who had the short hair, was 24 and had the pieced ear on his left (my right) for not punching in me in the nose. Most gracious of him.

As I said before, I am thouroughly drunk. I apologise for everything before this here written if any of it should offend ye.

Oddly, I can recite tongue twisters much better than when I was sober. My mental arithmatic has likewise improved.

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